HomeEye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
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MapleBirth :: Series
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Eye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
by ArashixYamasaki Fri Oct 29, 2010 8:55 pm
I've decided to rewrite this story, to make it, better C:
First read my Biography! - https://maplebirth.forummotion.com/biography-book-f46/arashi-hoshi-yamazaki-t1391.htm
First read my Biography! - https://maplebirth.forummotion.com/biography-book-f46/arashi-hoshi-yamazaki-t1391.htm
- Prologue:
Prolouge: The Energy Source
My name is Arashi Yamazaki, and this, is my story... One day in Henesys, it was a bright day, I was walking into the henesys free market, I haven't done a misson in weeks. But I didn't need those missions 'cause this particular act changed my life. The Free Market was full of Ice, and it was melting, and fast! I had so many questions: "What was in it? Where did it come from?" I wasn't thinking, as I thrusted my spear directly at it, it shattered open. I quietly steped closer and closer, I seen a man. He was around 19 years old, Goldish hair, and uconsious. All of a sudden, a blast of white light blasted directly towards me, I fell unconsious too and stil so many questions: "What happened to me? Was it serious?" I awoke several hours later, in a hospital bed, my adoption parents were there for me and everything was extraordinary, my step father rarely shows up to anything, and my step mom isn't drunk. But i still didn't know what was wrong.
"Well I got the test results back" started the Docter. "Looks like just a minor concussion"
The day after that I felt strange, I went to shake off my problems by doing a little training. I went to perion to fight some stumps. Then all of a sudden, when I was trying to do my Lightning rage attack, everything stopped. All I did was raise my fist in the air, and everything stopped, like time was frozen, so i headed back to Perion, you know just to make sure it wasn't LAG. Alas, still no sign of movement. I went into my hangout in the Tree that Grew II in west Ellina. I checked my watch and time hasn't moved at all. I was getting worried, a Half a Hour and still no sign of movement. This was bad, I snapped my fingers to try to think the outta no where a blue slime hits me directly. I rushed back to Ellina, So far the was Sign of ,movement in The Tree that Grew II and The Tree that Grew I . When I got to Ellina everything was moving, civillians, wizards, and shopkeepers! I was relieved, But if I snaped my fingers, and everything went back to normal, dose that mean i controlled it? I rushed directly to Henesys Free Market, the ice was gone, the man was gone, what happend to it all?
"Boo." said a voice
"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-" I said. I turned around and there it was...
Last edited by ArashixYamasaki on Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:26 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Rewrite, now the next time i edit the series will be finished)
ArashixYamasaki- Advanced
- Title : Storm God
Posts : 116
Location : UK
Re: Eye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
by Cookiez Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:15 pm
thats not long at all o-o
Cookiez- Admin
- Title : Lightning Blade Gamma
Posts : 350
Location : Canada Ontario
Re: Eye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
by ArashixYamasaki Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:17 pm
ohh, well is it any gud? i would rly like your opinion C:Cookiez wrote:thats not long at all o-o
ArashixYamasaki- Advanced
- Title : Storm God
Posts : 116
Location : UK
Re: Eye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
by Cookiez Sat Oct 30, 2010 3:46 pm
the storyline is.. interesting to a point. remnded me slightly of assassins creed in some parts while kind of bleach in others.
Your grammar and style of writing on the other hand needs imrpovement.
Your grammar and style of writing on the other hand needs imrpovement.
Cookiez- Admin
- Title : Lightning Blade Gamma
Posts : 350
Location : Canada Ontario
Re: Eye of the Storm I: The Energy from Above
by ArashixYamasaki Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:31 pm
Thx for the CnC but I made this last year so i was planning on improving it.Cookiez wrote:the storyline is.. interesting to a point. remnded me slightly of assassins creed in some parts while kind of bleach in others.
Your grammar and style of writing on the other hand needs imrpovement.
ArashixYamasaki- Advanced
- Title : Storm God
Posts : 116
Location : UK
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