My Story..

k so.. I owe you guys a bit of explanation of whats been going on lately :/ lot of people have been asking and i may as well just tell everyone.

so I've been depressed for alot of my life. I may not act it but I am.. and I'm i guess you cud say a womanizer :stud: ive had now.. 28 girlfriends? xD just since grade 7 -in grade 11- alot of people'd think this to be good but not rlly. i get bored of people.. dating.. doing things. The world stopped seeming appealing to me . My thoughts being everyone in the world is pathetic and they all deserve to die.
I've been depressed for so long that it was really all I knew how to do outside of my virtual life with you guys. But 8.. 9? months ago, in febuary.. i met someone. Her name was Sabrina and she made me feel better about myself.. the world.. made me feel real emotion again, i felt like she cud have actually been the one I could end all this bullshit with.. all these girlfriends.. this misfortune and depression. She made me happy, but I ruined it by always still acting like a depresso. September 10th we broke up. I didnt think we'd break up for good but after a while thats what she wanted. Since then I've been thrown around through houses.. extremely ill, severely depressed an emotional wreck? I was sent to hospitals.. mental facilities.. health institutions, therapists. I cant go to school anymore until next semester I've missed so much already. My best friend just moved. My dad kicked me out of my house cuz I sat around all day being sick or playing on the computer. Im with my grandparents right now.. barrels of fun.
Right now the only thing I could wish for in this world is to have Sabrina back.. and feel the way I did when I was around her. People say shit like "Oh, theres other fish n the sea." or "You'll always find someone else, someone better." The truth is I dont want to? She was the best thing that came into my life.And I dont want to let it go. Since me and her broke up, me being my womanizer self I've had 3 girlfirends.. none of which have worked out. The entire time I was with them I cud only thing of her .. and thats how I want it to be. But i cant ever have her back. And all she does to me now is make me feel like shit time and time again.. nothing I can do will bring her back to me.
And if ur wondering my depression mostly started as a kid when I got bullied every day since kinder garden till grade 7 when I changed my appearance my style and my attitude and instead of getting the shit beaten out of me I beat them down instead. I guess for this people started paying mroe attention to me.. thats what annoys me. Alongside this my parents are divorced and constantly waring with one another. My mom who i lived with for the first 14 - 15 years of my life is a druggy and quite frankly pathetic. My dad who i moved in with after beingfed up with my mom turned out to be an alchohalic.. . Since last year I've been moved and thrown around from house to house atleast 6 or 7 times. Family.. friends.. i've been everywhere just to stay under a roof.
I apologize for everything I've put you guys through or said I'd do or w.e made u worry about me.. I'm fucked up. I'm sure alot of us are and im sure some of u maybe many of you have or are going through shit worse then me.. I'm sorry.
This is my story. I just wanted someone to undertsand.

Dude, i feel your pain, i too know what its like to love like that, before i moved to england, i met the perfect girl, Catelin [i called her catey kat] we went out for years around two? but one day her mom got drunk, she left the stove on with something cooking, and a rag was there [i made it in DT sewing] it had the name jake and Catelin 4 ever. then her house caught on fire, she broke up with me at he moms funeral, she had 4th degree burns, so all i wanted to do is be there for her, we eventually got back together, but she didn't know i was moving to england, when i got on that plane i started vomiting and crying, then ikept doing it, but it didn't go as far as you, i eventually went to high school but i still regret every second of it..so yeah i understand. But come on, it was hard for me to get over it, it'll be hard for you, but there is more ppl out there like that, and if u dun wanna d8 anymore then thats a gud idea too, but u have to get better some how D:

Jake, I swear to God, if you commit suicide, I'll kill you again in the afterlife.

BadMSAnimator wrote:Jake, I swear to God, if you commit suicide, I'll kill you again in the afterlife.

LOL Not a bad idea but i dun think itll go that far (Pssst... Better get the swords out)

lol Jake 2. Your story was... bleh :/ I'm sorry that happened. In any case, Matt i dont intend to try suiciding again anytime soon. unless something REALLY bad happens o__o

LOL dude my story was crap compaird to urs, but yeah, i still understand ur pain